Tuesday, November 19, 2024

International Men’s Day: A Pause, Not a Celebration

The man in the mirror is tired. Not from lifting the world, but from pretending he can. Society loves its men stoic, predictable, and perhaps a little broken—just not too visibly.


When was the last time we asked a man how he’s really doing? Not the polite, “How’s work?” but the uncomfortable, “How’s your head holding up?”


Somewhere between the gym and the boardroom, the art of being human got lost in translation. Men die younger—not just from cholesterol or accidents, but from silence. Vulnerability? That’s a lecture, not a practice. And “mental health” always seems to be for someone else.


This day, International Men’s Day, should come with a disclaimer: Don’t celebrate. Question instead.



What does “I’m fine” even mean anymore?

When was the last time a man felt safe enough to answer honestly?

How many friendships go beyond banter over a match?

And how often is ambition a choice, not just a default setting?


Men don’t need applause today. They need permission. Permission to falter. To feel. To start again. To embrace the strength that comes from admitting, “I need help.”


“The strongest men are not those who lift the most, but those who admit when they can’t and seek help.”


#InternationalMensDay #MensMentalHealth #BreakTheSilence #VulnerabilityIsStrength #RedefiningManhood #ItsOkayNotToBeOkay #PermissionToFeel


Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Diwali: A Celebration of Light, Choices, and Timeless Tradition


Each year, as Diwali inches closer, there’s a shift—a quiet crackle in the air, an almost inaudible hum that fills homes and hearts. Windows are flung open to welcome the coolness of October, and every corner of the house seems to throb with a secret it’s keeping, waiting to be alive again, just for a little while.

In the bazaar, marigolds tumble from baskets in bright, extravagant heaps, orange and yellow petals spilling out like little explosions of joy. There’s the sharp, sweet smell of sugar and incense, of things old and things yet to be. Strings of lights glint in the hands of shopkeepers, each light a small promise waiting to be taken home, to cast its glow over rooms that, for a few shimmering days, might feel a little less ordinary.

Inside, families are drawn into the soft, familiar rituals that make Diwali what it is, what it always was. Mitti ke diye—humble clay lamps—are lined up with a care and reverence that only comes with rituals that know themselves. Diyas waiting like tiny soldiers, knowing that by dusk, each will be lit, each will play its part in the night’s choreography. Passed down from hand to hand, dadi to maa to beta, these rituals are threads that stitch generations together, each diya a quiet reminder of the past, each diya a whispered blessing for what’s to come.

In the kitchen—the thick, bustling heart of Diwali—laughter mingles with old, worn-out stories and the warm smell of ghee and elaichi. Recipes that are as old as time itself, shaped in hands that remember and hands that are learning. Some mithai from the halwai down the road, some made at home, each sweet carrying the taste of a memory that has lingered, sticky, on the edges of childhood. Children light phuljhadis, tiny sparklers that hiss and spit light, and their laughter rises into the night, echoing off walls, spilling out into the streets, filling the night with a joy that can’t be held back.

As the sun dips, the world begins to light up, diya by diya, each small flame spilling out onto doorsteps, casting a soft, golden glow that touches every house, linking one home to the next. Friends and family gather, not for grand things but for small, forgotten things. For warmth, for laughter, for moments that slip by too easily, for stories that only come alive in Diwali’s gentle glow. Each diya, each smile, a thread that ties them back to something fragile and unbreakable—a sense of belonging, a sense of home.

In a world that rushes forward every day, Diwali comes like a breath. An invitation to stop, to breathe, to listen to the laughter, the closeness, the warmth of people who stay close even when the world spins too fast. Diwali asks us to pause, to let go of the hurry, to be here, diya by diya, in the soft, forgiving light.

In every diya we light, we find ourselves—a reminder that the light we seek is the light we create, and in it lies the power to come home to ourselves.

|| Shubh Deepawali ||


Thursday, January 04, 2024

Friends & Friendships ...why some feel just right!

Relationships are huge opportunities for growth and connection. Once you’ve looked at them through the four lenses below, you appreciate better the quality of relationships you share with the different kinds of your friends basis which tier their friendship might fall into.

 

Friendships that pass through all the 4 lenses are priceless. And few. And if you’re lucky to have one such, you know you’ve found one for keeps.

 

Take a look at your friendships and you’ll notice that in any given moment, your relationship will likely embody these four nutrients on some level.

 

1.     Resonance

The level of connectedness you share with their interests, values and directions.

Some questions to help determine resonance with your friendships:

•       Do you look forward to hanging out with them? What activities?

•       Do you feel better having them in your life? Why? Why not?

•       Do you genuinely like them as a person? Or does your relationship feel transactional?

•       Do conversations and experiences just flow easier with them compared to other people?

•       Do you just vibe well together? Do you have fun?

2.     Reciprocity

The level of mutual curiosity and communication flow.

•       Are you the one always reaching out to them? Does your friendship feel one-sided?

•       Do they ask you questions, too? Are they curious about your life?

•       Does the conversation ebb and flow between you sharing and them sharing?

•       Do you ask them to hang out and you get crickets each time?

•       Do you support them as much as they support you?

3.     Consistency

The frequency of connection in whatever way that feels good to the both of you.

•       How often do you communicate and/or hang out together? Does it feel good to you and if not, have you told them?

•       Does your connection feel solid (or at least moving in that direction)?

•       Do they stick around during difficult conversations? Or do they brush any conflict under the rug and retreat for a
         period of time with no warning

•       Does the quality of your interactions feel good to you? Is it too deep? Too superficial?

4.     Intimacy

The level of depth and knowledge of all parts of each other, not just the positive traits.

•       Do you only know things about them that could already be figured out from their Facebook or Instagram profile?

•       Do you feel comfortable sharing vulnerable parts of you without fear of being shamed or judged?

•       Do you talk about things in your personal life or just external topics?

•       Have you ever cried, gotten angry or shown emotion with them?

 

 

The 4 Tiers of Friendship...

 

1st Tier

Your closest friends. Your inner circle.

•       They know the real you, warts and all. You feel comfortable sharing anything with them and vice versa.

•       You feel relaxed being around them and you feel recharged after hanging around them.

•       Most people can maintain a max of 10 people in this Tier.

•       High level of Resonance + Reciprocity + Consistency + Intimacy.

•       They will free up their time to see or talk to you.

 

2nd Tier

Your bigger group of friends.

•    You genuinely like them and have warm/positive feelings toward them, but there simply isn’t a resonance 

      or desire to go deeper or see/talk to them more often.

•    You might both always say “We should get together sometime!” but nothing happens.

•    You may have had some occasional dropped-in conversations with them but nothing much happens beyond 

      that. They often will see or talk to you only in their free time.

•    At least one of the nutrients is low or missing (Resonance + Reciprocity + Consistency + Intimacy).


3rd Tier


Acquaintances. People you know and interact with in person but just haven’t gone beyond a few minutes of conversation with them each time you see them.

•       They might be people at work, church, softball team.

•       You’ll likely have a high level of Resonance but not much else.


4th Tier

People you know of, but don’t know personally. You often don’t have an opinion of them either way because you haven’t had any direct communication with or experience of them.

•       The majority of the people on your Facebook and Instagram.


...No one tier is better or worse than the other. The tiers are just ways of objectively looking at your relationships and seeing perhaps why some friendships feel solid and fulfilling and others feel turbulent and unsatisfying.

 

This is not a reason to start keeping a checklist or spreadsheet on all your friends, but rather a chance to gain some perspective on why some friendships feel better than others.

 


Sunday, December 01, 2019

Rescue



Cradled in cold concrete, 
Tired, fallen and dead,
Lives that once held hope,
...reduced to memories now,
Like scars from wounds that have bled 
A kinship of deep comfort
An intimacy dark and complete,
Fate smiles in calibrated silence,
...at the rescue in oblivious attempts 
Fighting shy of light, in a landscape so barren and bleak.

- Mark




Sunday, October 20, 2019

Purpose

Freshly awashed yet seemingly dead 
The conch rests on a rocky bed 
Awaiting a trampling foot that’ll set it free 
From its stubborn inertia of salt fed misery 

As dawn to dusk attempts its break 
Cold yet content it lies in wait
In search of its shadow now lost at sea,
Only to be found by the wandering devotee.


- Mark

Sunday, July 07, 2019





The Other Wing of Twilight...

M&M


Ear-marking the changing canvas of time in the warm afterglow of a newfound horizon.




International Men’s Day: A Pause, Not a Celebration

The man in the mirror is tired. Not from lifting the world, but from pretending he can. Society loves its men stoic, predictable, and perhap...